Relapse

I had another episode this evening and it reduced my mom to tears. I hate to see her cry which was why I held it in till I thought she left the house to get her hair done. I was underneath my blankie when she flipped open it and caught me.

The worst part was, I couldn't answer her when she asked me why. I really do not know why and it breaks my heart to have to break hers.

It's so hard to have to deal with this alone. I have got no choice because noone believes a word I say. Or rather, noone gives a shit enough.

To friends of mine reading this. I am sorry I can't be the person you know in real life. For that, go to www___________________ (URL deleted because my picture is on that site).

Like I've mentioned before, this is a highly personal journal and this is the only place where noone's gonna pick on the things I say.

I do not wish to have to be happy in here. Please understand and if need be, leave me alone.

There is another journal I keep at www.alcowhore.blogspot.com which is less sombre. Maybe that'd be better to visit.

'Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.' - Someone