The Hour Is Near
Just got back from Winebar. Am a li'l tipsssssssssssssssssssssy.
Called him right after I got home and he's already at Heathrow, although he did SMS me earlier about this delay on the tube [which got me worried like fuck]. Everything's going as planned now so I am happy.
Another 13 hours and I'd be seeing him. The girl can't wait.
I was at ICB earlier tonight [before Winebar] and saw a couple of familiar but insignificant faces. It's sad how things turned out but hey, there's just so much one can do. It's no big loss if you really think about it. Being friends then burdened me with loadsa unnecessary responsibilities and obligations and I really think I'm better off without them. What's a friendship if you feel like Big Brother's constantly monitoring your life and nit-picking on your every action? No fun I tell ya. Hell, they even found it their god-given 'duty' to dictate my love life. I sure do not need that!
That brings to mind. Don't you just HATE 'friends' who poke their ugly noses into all your affairs but when you have no more gossip-worthy information/news to share, they treat you like a total nobody? I mean, they will really act as though you aren't there. Not even a civil 'hi' when both pairs of eyes meet. BUT. Once they smell any new gossip they think you might have (yes, people can be darn observant), they're onto you like a freakin' hairy monkey on your back.
I think I've really done my best with that friendship, doing things I wouldn't normally do [and then hating myself for being so stupid]. But they were NEVER happy with my effort and I felt graded all the time. All the fuckin' time. Like they were some gods. I never knew why I felt this need to please them, or rather, this need to not make them pissed off with me [and they always found something to be pissed off about]. A friendship is all about selection and then acceptance and not this expectation for certain criteria to be met when there was no right to have those criteria in the first freakin' place. I say this in contradiction to my principle of having criteria for friends. Lemme explain.
Yes, we should all have our criteria when choosing friends [as well as choosing a partner] - selection phase. Then, knowing the person as a friend, we accept them. For them, it's a mass of confusion. I am sometimes a friend and sometimes not. They set expectations to their convenience. I have always just been an object of discussion for their very sad and boring lives.
If they treated me as a friend and I fell short of their expectations, I welcome their chastisement, blame, and what-have-yous. But why do I always only get the nasties of a supposed friendship and none of the sugar and spice? Anything without a proper balance isn't worth having or keeping. Such a one-sided friendship is truly not my thing.
Gosh, I should just let it go now. Although knowing me, I'd be back on this topic again in the near future.
So. After ICB, I went to Winebar with Gary to meet his friends. Had more to drink and if I didn't stop myself, I would've thrown up without a doubt. Beer starts to taste like shit after the sixth pint. I was never a beer-drinker. The pocket dictates that I be one for now.
I just hope the hangover's nothing too major coz I still have to entertain Mr VIP tomorrow.
Oh dearie, the anticipation is killing me!
Needa go to bed now if I am to get up in time to pick him from Changi.
Ta-ra y'all.
Called him right after I got home and he's already at Heathrow, although he did SMS me earlier about this delay on the tube [which got me worried like fuck]. Everything's going as planned now so I am happy.
Another 13 hours and I'd be seeing him. The girl can't wait.
I was at ICB earlier tonight [before Winebar] and saw a couple of familiar but insignificant faces. It's sad how things turned out but hey, there's just so much one can do. It's no big loss if you really think about it. Being friends then burdened me with loadsa unnecessary responsibilities and obligations and I really think I'm better off without them. What's a friendship if you feel like Big Brother's constantly monitoring your life and nit-picking on your every action? No fun I tell ya. Hell, they even found it their god-given 'duty' to dictate my love life. I sure do not need that!
That brings to mind. Don't you just HATE 'friends' who poke their ugly noses into all your affairs but when you have no more gossip-worthy information/news to share, they treat you like a total nobody? I mean, they will really act as though you aren't there. Not even a civil 'hi' when both pairs of eyes meet. BUT. Once they smell any new gossip they think you might have (yes, people can be darn observant), they're onto you like a freakin' hairy monkey on your back.
I think I've really done my best with that friendship, doing things I wouldn't normally do [and then hating myself for being so stupid]. But they were NEVER happy with my effort and I felt graded all the time. All the fuckin' time. Like they were some gods. I never knew why I felt this need to please them, or rather, this need to not make them pissed off with me [and they always found something to be pissed off about]. A friendship is all about selection and then acceptance and not this expectation for certain criteria to be met when there was no right to have those criteria in the first freakin' place. I say this in contradiction to my principle of having criteria for friends. Lemme explain.
Yes, we should all have our criteria when choosing friends [as well as choosing a partner] - selection phase. Then, knowing the person as a friend, we accept them. For them, it's a mass of confusion. I am sometimes a friend and sometimes not. They set expectations to their convenience. I have always just been an object of discussion for their very sad and boring lives.
If they treated me as a friend and I fell short of their expectations, I welcome their chastisement, blame, and what-have-yous. But why do I always only get the nasties of a supposed friendship and none of the sugar and spice? Anything without a proper balance isn't worth having or keeping. Such a one-sided friendship is truly not my thing.
Gosh, I should just let it go now. Although knowing me, I'd be back on this topic again in the near future.
So. After ICB, I went to Winebar with Gary to meet his friends. Had more to drink and if I didn't stop myself, I would've thrown up without a doubt. Beer starts to taste like shit after the sixth pint. I was never a beer-drinker. The pocket dictates that I be one for now.
I just hope the hangover's nothing too major coz I still have to entertain Mr VIP tomorrow.
Oh dearie, the anticipation is killing me!
Needa go to bed now if I am to get up in time to pick him from Changi.
Ta-ra y'all.
posted by Sharry at 4:05:00 AM
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